You think you understand, you have no f*&$in clue. The agony one goes through when they are living the law school blues. The work is constant, it never stops, unexpected turns always come about. No time for relaxation.
I lose myself. Forget to eat sometimes just to make it a foot closer. There are more lows than high. Ready to give up at a moments notice. The mind never stops racing it in the end I have increased my pacing. I hate what I have become; a monster whose nose is always in a book.
Nothing is ever straight forward, its always a curve: grades, the reading, even some of the professors words; those unexpected turns.
All is not lost.
I remind myself it is only temporary and that I can’t stray away from why I want to do this.
I am totally loved by my creator and my loved one’s. Even though I wish I went to Law School in the city, I would probably lose myself because it would only be a big distraction. Need to keep focus and stay on my grind, its just been hard when I lost the motivation. I wish I could just cop a break and not have to think about anything. I wish I could just shut my brain down and not worry about anything. Not to worry about outlining, memorandums, readings, case briefings, or finals that are fast approaching.
Everyone says that it will be worth it in the end, that’s the underlying question: will it be worth it in the end?
After venting about and seeing what I need to do, I need to keep going. My harshest critic is not anyone, its myself. In the end, im harshest on myself.